June 2010; Corko will return to the Scottish Games this year, if his body will let him.

Like every person who gets into their 30s or 40s, I re-evaluate the priorities that I had in my impetuous days of youth. There are things that simply pass by you unnoticed when you are young. Such things come back to you, often in spades, when you get a bit older. It's true that your body starts to slow down. You get sore in places where you never got sore before. The demons that were in your head all along are suddenly noticeable when they are smacking you in the face. You begin to ask yourself, is this as good as it gets? Is this the best I am? Where do I get meaning in life? Why do I care? Who am I? These sorts of things. Fortunately, there is help. I confess to have been greatly influenced by Zen, through various channels. As such, I must conclude that the universe is perfect. I am right where I am supposed to be. The grass is not greener on the other side; in fact, the entire point is *not* to think that it might be greener. I can be cool with my position. I can accept what Is. My life situation is separate from me. Powerful stuff.

I spend a lot of time in Corporate America (more accurately Corporate NamelessEuropeanCountry). I find it to be exciting, frustrating, funny, silly, inefficient, bloated, and a bunch of other things. But in the midst of all this, it is also a training ground for my Zen-like exercises. One of the things that I am currently working to improve is the judgment of situations. Did you ever notice that when you go into a meeting expecting a conflict, you usually get a conflict? If you have not noticed this, try to see it. I think the first step is to notice it in yourself, clear it out, and then go into the meeting. By consciously not trying to pre-judge situations and people, the experience seems much more relaxed, at least, to my own inner state, this is how it is. I practice this actively. Sometimes I will catch myself heating up or waiting to pounce on a statement....and I am sometimes able to catch it, and realize that I am judging....that everyone has their own BS to deal with, just like I do, and that playing the judgment card really does not help me, or anyone else. A guy I once met called this "putting the should on" - expecting everyone and everything to comply with your expectations by "putting the should on them". Try not to judge the situation. It seems to work well in traffic jams :-)

I have been paying special attention to the words that I use. Not only externally, but internally. I find that internal dialogue really does affect my mental condition. I think I always realized this unconsciously, but I was....too unconscious about it. The famous Frank Zane teaches some simple word substitution. Here's an example. Go about your normal day, and every time someone around you does something silly, or every time you miss a green light, or every time you try to win, only to lose, pay attention to what you say to yourself. Was that person who stiffed you - a stupid idiot? Does your job suck? Don't you hate that traffic? I think with enough of this negative stuff, you really end up having some awful days. What kind of way of life is this? So, now try this....instead of using the word "stupid", use "unskilled". Instead of saying "My job sucks", say "This is a challenging role". Instead of saying "I've got to get out of here", say "I'm proud of myself for showing up today". If you can't catch yourself, just rephrase your negative speech right away (I try to get it within 7 seconds) into something less negative. Is this political correctness? No, this is your life, turning around, by speaking more kindly to yourself and others. This is you respecting yourself enough to stop being cruel to yourself. This very thing has turned my own life around. I believe this actually starts to reprogram your brain if you keep it up.